Apologies are in order here. I haven’t written anything in a while, and I do apologize for that.

Lately a lot of stuff has been going on. A lot of depressing things. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about me and my battle with depression. It has been mentioned to me that maybe I need to start taking anti-depressents again. And because of that comment I have been thinking… maybe I do need to.

I have been in the process of this weight loss surgery for a little while now and with not much luck might I add. I have been letting my family down, my nutritionist, my friends, and myself down. And all that let down gets me really depressed. And in that depression I turn to the very thing that is causing all the let down. Honestly, I feel like I am not in control of myself, I am just along for the ride.

I asked my mother yesterday if she thinks I need to go back on anti-depressants. After all, she is around me the most at home, and home is where I let my guard down. If I am at a friend’s house and feel like I’m not very happy, I just leave and go home. So anyways, I asked my mom what she thought, and she said to me, “I can’t read your mind Tommy,” and my response to her was, “neither can I.” Honestly, that is how I feel. I have no idea why I go so up and down in emotions. So maybe I do need to start taking anti-depressents again. Maybe that will help me feel better about myself and give me more hope.

Maybe.